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How Long, O LORD?

Learning to Lament

Lament is honest prayer to God when life hurts. It is not grumbling about God behind His back. It is bringing the hurt straight to Him. The Psalms are full of it, so God does more than allow these prayers, He hands us the words. Lament is not a failure of faith. It is faith that keeps talking to God when nothing makes sense.

Psalm 13 is only six verses long, and it walks through four steps. Take them at your own pace, and come back as often as you need.

Each step shows Scripture on the front. Tap a step, or press Enter or Space on Turn the card, for the teaching, a short prayer prompt, and songs.

Step 1 of 4

Turn to God

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah

Psalm 62:8 (ESV)

More laments that start here

With my voice I cry out to the LORD; with my voice I plead for mercy to the LORD. I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him.

Psalm 142:1-2 (ESV) (David, hiding in a cave)

Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD! O Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas for mercy!

Psalm 130:1-2 (ESV)

Step 1: Turn to God

Lament starts with a direction. David does not just say "how long," he says "How long, O LORD?" Pain tends to push us away from God. Lament turns us toward Him, even when all we have is a groan.

Pray it

Begin with His name. Tell Him where you are right now, as plainly as you would tell a close friend.

Songs

Step 2 of 4

Tell Him the truth

How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

Psalm 13:1-2 (ESV)

More honest laments

I say to God, my rock: "Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?"

Psalm 42:9 (ESV)

"Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable? Has his steadfast love forever ceased? Are his promises at an end for all time? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?" Selah

Psalm 77:7-9 (ESV)

Step 2: Tell Him the truth

David asks "how long" four times. He feels forgotten, he keeps going around in his own head, he aches all day, and his enemy seems to be winning. God did not edit any of it out. You can tell Him what hurts, what scares you, even that He seems far away. Lament is not venting into the air, though. It is complaint with an address, and it keeps moving toward Him.

When the dark doesn't lift

Psalm 88 may be the darkest prayer in the Bible. It has no happy turn, and its last word is darkness:

You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me; my companions have become darkness.

Psalm 88:18 (ESV)

But look at how it begins:

O LORD, God of my salvation, I cry out day and night before you.

Psalm 88:1 (ESV)

Even with no relief yet, the writer is still praying to the God who saves. If your prayers sound like that, you are not alone, and you are not doing it wrong. God thought a prayer like this was worth keeping in His Word.

If the darkness feels heavy right now, the Depressed and Grieving sections on How Are You Feeling? gather songs and Scripture for those places too.

Pray it

Name what hurts, the "how long" you are carrying. You do not need tidy words.

Songs

Step 3 of 4

Ask boldly

Incline your ear, O LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.

Psalm 86:1 (ESV)

Also from Psalm 13

lest my enemy say, "I have prevailed over him," lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

Psalm 13:4 (ESV)

More bold asks

Hear my prayer, O LORD; let my cry come to you! Do not hide your face from me in the day of my distress! Incline your ear to me; answer me speedily in the day when I call!

Psalm 102:1-2 (ESV)

Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling!

Psalm 43:3 (ESV)

Step 3: Ask boldly

Then David asks. "Consider and answer me" means look at me, and do something. "Light up my eyes" is a plea for life and strength, because he feels close to the end. Lament does not stop at the problem. It asks God to act, because only He can. He may answer differently, or later, than we hope, and asking is still right.

From Psalm 13

Consider and answer me, O LORD my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,

Psalm 13:3 (ESV)

Pray it

Ask Him plainly for what you need. Then leave the how and the when with Him.

Songs

Step 4 of 4

Choose to trust

But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Psalm 13:5-6 (ESV)

More turns toward trust

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-23 (ESV) (written over the ruins of Jerusalem)

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

Psalm 42:11 (ESV)

I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old.

Psalm 77:11 (ESV)

Step 4: Choose to trust

Nothing in the psalm says David's trouble went away. What changed is where he looked. "But I have trusted" looks back at God's steadfast love, His covenant love that does not let go, and "I will sing" looks ahead. Trust is not pretending you feel fine. It is leaning on what God has done and promised, sometimes long before your feelings follow. Some days you will not get this far, and that is okay. Come back tomorrow, because He is still listening.

Pray it

Remember one thing God has done, in Scripture, at the cross, or in your own life. Tell Him you will trust Him with this, even if your heart is still catching up.

Songs

Psalms to pray when...

A closing word

Jesus prayed lament too. On the cross He cried out the first line of Psalm 22:

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?

Psalm 22:1 (ESV)

And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" that is, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

Matthew 27:46 (ESV)

In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence.

Hebrews 5:7 (ESV)

He was forsaken so that everyone who trusts Him never will be. Because He died for our sins and rose again, your "how long" is heard by a Father who will one day wipe away every tear. You do not have to fix yourself before you pray. Come as you are, and keep coming.

Songs

If you don't know Him yet: you can start right here. Turn to Jesus, who died for sinners and rose again, trust Him, and bring Him your whole heart. Read more on the Good News page.

Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.